A Day in the Life of a Parisian Instagram Influencer

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They’re effortless, beautiful, and all seem to own an infinite supply of oversize vintage gold mirrors and wicker baskets. We can’t ever know them, but here is our guess of what a day in the life of a Parisian Instagram influencer looks like.

Sit on a terrace or cuddle up under an impossibly cloud-like duvet with a full spread of breakfast goodies. Did you order them in? Did your boyfriend pick them up? You’ve still got bedhead and a sleepy smile so it couldn’t have been you who got dressed, went down to the boulangerie, brought all this back, changed back into pajamas, and posed like a songbird just woke you up. Eat exactly one bite of pastry. If it looks like you had two, that’s only because you had to retake the shot.

 

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A post shared by Adenorah ♏️ (@annelauremais)

Pose on a street corner with a wicker basket of flowers, in flared jeans and a chunky heel. Yes, you are on a texting basis with your local fleuriste.

 

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A post shared by Camille (@camilleyolaine)

Go to a museum. Make sure to stand just so that it looks like you are taking in the beauty and majesty of a Monet, while your followers get a clearer view of your product placement.

 

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A post shared by Adenorah ♏️ (@annelauremais)

Take a vintage bathroom selfie with a digital camera, presumably after a hot nooner with your lover, but really you just spent half an hour stalking his ex on TikTok and decided you had to show her up because you know she still watches his Insta stories.

 

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A post shared by Jeanne ? (@jeannedamas)

If you’re pregnant (because all Parisian influencers are somehow pregnant but forever childless), you can repeat this move, but with even less clothing on. You’ll probably name her Brooklyn, but spelled in some unpronounceable way.

 

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A post shared by Jeanne ? (@jeannedamas)

Read some poetry, the more risqué the better. Because you have a Master’s in French literature from the Sorbonne and leaving to become a model instead of getting your doctorate was one of the hardest decisions you’ve ever had to make.

 

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A post shared by Violette (@violette_fr)

Go out for coffee. Never with friends. No boyfriend in frame. Did you drag him out here to catch a “candid” of you enjoying un café solo? Are you even going to drink that coffee? The world may never know.

 

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A post shared by @pia_mbd

Get yelled at by the woman who lives at 25 Rue Crémieux. Again. Hush, Agnès, I promise we’ll only be on your stoop for another 45 minutes.

 

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A post shared by Chay ?? (@iam.chaaay)

Stare out over the rooftops of Paris, take a quiet moment for yourself while you take a peep at your neighbors making out.

 

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A post shared by Jeanne ? (@jeannedamas)

It’s golden hour. QUICK! GRAB THE CAMERA! I swear to god Alex if you don’t get this picture right it is over, you hear me? Over!

 

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A post shared by Sabina Socol (@sabinasocol)

Share a romantic dinner with your boyfriend. His face must never be fully shown, but only hidden by your face as you kiss, so that no one realizes that he’s less attractive, but much richer, than you are.

 

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A post shared by Adenorah ♏️ (@annelauremais)

Watch Belle de Jour or Et Dieu… Crea La Femme for the thousandth time. Base your entire personality on whether you are a Juliette or a Séverine.

 

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A post shared by Camille (@camilleyolaine)

Take a bath to unwind after a long day of smizing. Showers are for amateurs and poor people. All of your apartment-hunting decisions were clawfoot-centric, and you’re going to use it for all it’s worth.

Light a candle, pour yourself a cocktail, and spend half an hour in the bathroom applying approximately 72 different creams and serums, all of which have “changed your life” in some way. Get ready for bed. You’ve got a long day of selfies ahead of you.

 

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A post shared by Violette (@violette_fr)

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