23 Advantages of Being an American in France

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1. “I’m American, I don’t speak French” works like a Get Out of Jail Free card for bad conversations, tedious requests, and your own bureaucratic errors

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2. You have a pretty low bar to clear in terms of public appearance (i.e., just don’t wear booty shorts, sweatshirts, or sweatpants, and you’ll exceed expectations)

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3. You are the authority on the US and what you say is the ultimate truth

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4. English. You speak excellent English. (Pour one out for Francois Hollande, he did his best.)

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5. You can fake it ’til you make it like no other because in school you learned that America is *the greatest country in the world*

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6. You’re ready for any kind of weather (29°F is cold? 90°F is hot? Puh-lease, you’ve been to Chicago and Death Valley, France’s tepid temps are a breeze)

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7. You know how to be efficient with your time, none of this 2-hour meal nonsense

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8. Though you may know nothing about French breakfast, lunch, or dinner, you are a brunch expert

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9. Wine, cheese, bread, and even prix fixe meals are less $$$ in France than in the US, so while the French gripe about the bill, you ain’t even mad

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10. Your style can only improve (unlike when the French come to the US looking *fresh* and leave in sweatpants)

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11. You have a reputation for being fun (thank movies like The Hangover and American Pie for this)

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12. All French men want to “show you the real Paris”

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13. Thanks to athletic extracurriculars, you excel at sports (except soccer)

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14. Never. Forget. You. Represent. The. Height. Of. Pop. Culture.

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15. You know the *correct* lyrics to all the popular songs (because you’re going to hear a lot of American music)

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16. France loves American movies, and obvi you’re an expert

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18. You have an excuse to forget about the current state of political turmoil the US is in… out of sight, out of mind, right?

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19. Unlike when French people come to the US and gain weight, you will go to France and lose weight (because so. much. walking.)

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20. If you do something weird or embarrassing, you can just tell people it’s totally normal/acceptable in the US (because that’s probably the truth)

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21. Any kind of enthusiasm that’s required of you, you’re prepared (unless it’s for a soccer game, then the French have you beat)

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22. Not knowing something is fine — everyone expects it since you didn’t get that French “bonne éducation”

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23. You’re American, and as much as French people love to hate America… they love us 🙂

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