Netflix’s Hidden French Movie Genres Exposed

This is an absolutely un-touched up photo from The Red Balloon.

Buried deep in the code of the Netflix servers are movie categories that never see the presentation layer of the site. What purpose do they serve, if not to engender wonder in the minds of subscribers? Thanks to the intrepid work of some code monkeys, we now have a fairly full list of every possible iteration of cinema—including these fantastically hyper-specific options for watching French films.

All links go straight to Netflix’s mysterious categories.

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French Movies

Simple enough!

Critically-acclaimed French-Language Movies

Okay, forget the last category, then.

Cerebral French-Language Movies

Oh… kay…

Cerebral French-Language Crime Dramas

Is the language cerebral or is the crime drama cerebral?

Cerebral French-Language Dramas

Guess it wasn’t the crime that was cerebral.

Cerebral French-Language Movies from the 1950s

Post-war sex, mostly. The sexual libération, tu vois.

Cerebral French-Language Movies from the 1960s

French people having sex with questionable haircuts.

Cerebral French-Language Dramas from the 1960s

Sorry, that was ambiguous: French people with questionable haircuts having sex.

Cerebral French-Language Movies from the 1970s

Yes, but aren’t any of them critical darlings?

Critically-acclaimed Cerebral French-Language Dramas

Wait, why were we wasting all that time on critically-unacclaimed cerebral French-language movies?

Critically-acclaimed Dark French-Language Movies

Le Faucon Maltais?

Critically-acclaimed French Dramas from the 1950s

Ah, the days before Gérard Depardieu.

Critically-acclaimed French Dramas from the 1960s

He’s… he’s not here yet, is he? Oh, phew.

Critically-acclaimed French Dramas from the 1970s

Oh… hi, Gérard. You look fantastic!

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Critically-acclaimed French Movies from the 1960s

Where did Gérard go?

Critically-acclaimed French Movies from the 1970s

Someone check Russia.

Critically-acclaimed French-Language Crime Dramas

The crime: being too sexy, smoking too many cigarettes.

Critically-acclaimed French-Language Crime Movies

The crime: not enough drama.

Critically-acclaimed French-Language Dramas

The drama: not enough crime. Or sex.

Critically-acclaimed French-Language Thrillers

The Red Balloon!

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Careful, kid! That’s Léon from The Professional sneaking up on you!

Critically-acclaimed Romantic French-Language Dramas

Audrey Tatou in World War II.

Critically-acclaimed Romantic French-Language Movies

Audrey Tatou in a super color-saturated Paris.

Critically-acclaimed Suspenseful French Movies

Will they have sex?

Critically-acclaimed Suspenseful French Dramas

[Dramatically] Will they have sex?

Dark French-Language Political Movies

Who did the president have an affair with?

Dark French-Language Thrillers

Who cares if they’re not critically-acclaimed? Oh right, there’s still affairs.

Exciting French-Language Dramas

“Exciting,” indeed.

French-Language Action & Adventure

Sex in a shootout, sex on a mountain.

French-Language Comedies

Oh, here we go.

Amélie is the story of Amélie Poulain, famed and remorseless spoon murderess who remains at large to this day.
Amélie is the story of Amélie Poulain, famed and remorseless spoon murderess who remains at large to this day.

French-Language Coming-of-age Dramas

Sexual awakenings.

French-Language Coming-of-age Movies

Less dramatic sexual awakenings.

French-Language Crime Comedies

The criminals are having an affair in the bank! Hilarious!

French-Language Documentaries

This is how French people have affairs. Let’s watch.

French-Language Dramas

Fifteen minutes of sex, 5 minutes of shouting. Repeat for 115 minutes.

French-Language Gay & Lesbian Dramas

Unnecessary distinctions. All French people are polyamorous.

French-Language Gay & Lesbian Movies

Oh, don’t be so dramatic.

French-Language Horror Movies from the 1970s

Anything starring Gérard Depardieu having sex.

French-Language Military Dramas

“These are guns!”

French-Language Military Movies

“These are also guns.”

French-Language Mysteries

Why do the French have so much sex?

Perhaps one of the French language's greatest mysteries.
Perhaps one of the French language’s greatest mysteries.

French-Language Political Movies

We have to pass a law to stop these people from having sex in films. The population is out of control.

French-Language Sci-Fi & Fantasy

A world in which French people do not feature sex in films.

French-Language Thrillers from the 1960s

Thigh-high boots? Thrilling!

French-Language Thrillers from the 1970s

Mini-skirts? Thrilling!

French-Language Thrillers from the 1980s

Breast augmentation…

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French-Language War Dramas

War of the sexes. Using sex.

Gritty French-Language Crime Movies

Just enough grit, just enough crime.

Gritty French-Language Movies

Just enough grit, not enough crime.

Irreverent French-Language Comedies

Wouldn’t want to get suckered into watching a reverent French comedy!

Irreverent French-Language Movies

Wouldn’t want to get suckered into watching a comedy!

Mind-bending French-Language Movies

If you don’t speak the language, pretty much all French movies are mind-bending.

Romantic French-Language Comedies

Movies in which they laugh during sexual encounters.

Romantic French-Language Dramas

Movies in which they cry during sexual encounters.

Scary French-Language Thrillers

It’s scary how much the French have affairs.

Sentimental French-Language Movies

Remember that time we had an affair?

Steamy French-Language Dramas

“Steamy” because they’re having an affair.

Steamy French-Language Gay & Lesbian Dramas

“Steamy” and LGBTQ.

Steamy French-Language Gay & Lesbian Movies

Even not having sex, if it’s French-language, it’s still steamy.

Understated French-Language Dramas

“Understated” meaning “softcore pornography” in French.

Critically-acclaimed Understated French Dramas

Critically-acclaimed yet understated… how French.

Understated French-Language Movies

Mostly starring mimes. They’re super understated.

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Understated French-Language Movies from the 1980s

Ah, the one decade the French ill-advisedly attempted understatement.

Violent French-Language Movies

This also describes any movie featuring a Québécoise accent.

Here’s the comprehensive—and frankly bonkers—list of hidden Netflix categories. Bon cinéma!