1. There’s no word for “slush” in French
“Mud with melted snow and salt mixed in that attacks leather shoes” is too long. And when you pronounce it in French you barely hear it; it’s like the sound of a shoe sinking in slush.
2. French schools need 77 words to say “snow day”
How Paris is beautiful in the snow! For those who could make the journey, what fun for the kids to have snowball fights in the hallways at school.
For now, school will be open tomorrow, but if conditions get worse, and if you have trouble with transportation, don’t worry if you can’t make it in.
Check your email. We’ll keep informed of an eventual school closing.
The school staff”
Note that in France, snow days are announced after the snow has already happened, not in advance.
In French, we don't say "snow day" we say "putain mais c'est bloqué de partout MAIS AVANCE CONNARD TU SAIS PAS CONDUIRE OU QUOI putain mais y en a qui bossent espèce de débile mais avance merde bah bravo c'est rouge maintenant t'es content connard" and I think that's beautiful
— A common lawyer (@acommonlawyer) February 7, 2018
“In French, we don’t say ‘snow day’ we say ‘f**k, there’s traffic everywhere, DRIVE, IDIOT, DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE OR WHAT, f**k but some of us are working, you moron, go, s**t, well bravo, it’s red now, are you happy, a**hole?’ and I think that’s beautiful.”
Ici, dans le Maryland, on envoie un SMS sur les portables des parents le matin vers 5h00 pour les prévenir de la fermeture des écoles…..je crois qu'en France, on téléphone pour venir récupérer ses enfants dans l'après midi 🤔
— lefevre (@lefcat) February 7, 2018
“Here in Maryland, schools send a text to parents’ phones around 5am to alert them of school closings… I believe that in France parents are called to come pick their kids up in the afternoon.”
3. In Paris, parks close when it snows
Due to heavy #snowfalls in the @Paris region, the #Tuileries Garden is closed to the public this Wednesday, February 7. We apologize for any inconvenience caused, thank you for your understanding. pic.twitter.com/mWaoFEa0wl
— Musée du Louvre (@MuseeLouvre) February 7, 2018
— Franck (@franckaltmeyer) February 7, 2018
Les enfoirés, il ont fermé le jardin du Luxembourg pour 10cm de neige pic.twitter.com/1ubGA6zaih
— Sassenach (@aalemph) February 7, 2018
Fermé , danger pour les enfants : boules de neige !sont mieux sur les trottoirs… pic.twitter.com/a1WyVGldKS
— Sophie de Menthon (@SdeMenthon) February 6, 2018
4. But it’s no big deal, you can still play on the sidewalks which definitely haven’t be shoveled
La définition du jour : la Neige
— Le Gorafi (@le_gorafi) February 7, 2018
“Snow (n.f.): a vicious meteorological element that can paralyze the entire road system in all of France with just 0.2mm on the ground.”
Paris has gotten like 8 inches of snow in two days and none of the streets in my neighborhood are plowed because it snows so rarely here that people aren't even aware they should probably shovel their sidewalks.
— Anwyn (@anween) February 7, 2018
— Anne Ditmeyer (@pretavoyager) February 6, 2018
“Parisians were miffed at the lack of preparation, but the government was quick to get real with people about the science of snow removal,” The Washington Post explained. It feels like a bit of a joke when the government spokesperson Benjamin Griveaux says “it’s impossible to predict the weather accurately.” (In the words of The Washington Post, “we obviously disagree with that last sentiment.”)
Obviously, it’s legitimate to wonder if it’s worth investing in equipment for an event that only happens every five years when you could just stay at home until it’s over. “You’d have to buy a lot of materials that you’d only use once every three years. When you’re in Canada, it snows 60 centimeters and everyone is still out and about because they’ve invested billions and billions,” said Gérard Collomb, former mayor of Lyon, the capital of traffic jams on the main thoroughfare to popular skiing destinations. In terms of actual budgets, in New York City the annual clearance budget is $88 million for 689 salt trucks and 1,600 trucks that can be converted into snowplows.
5. How are you supposed to clear snow when Parisians don’t have snow shovels (and don’t have a word for “shovel”)?
People clear snow with brooms, rakes…
I also find it quite amusing how unprepared Paris is for snow. I saw one shovel.. and people using brooms. Now everything is slippery; where is the salt? I really wish they had sidewalk plows here. But it’s so beautiful😻
— Clara Jeffrey (@clarajjeffrey) February 7, 2018
Pieces of wood…
No one in Paris has supplies to shovel snow. Just saw a taxi out my window clean off his car with a random piece of wood. 😂❄️
— Anne Ditmeyer (@pretavoyager) February 7, 2018
Aux USA la neige n'aurait rien bloqué MAIS :
Les riverains seraient équipés de sel, pelles, déneigeuses de trottoirs motorisées, la ville aurait des pick-up chasse-neige…
Qui est prêt à payer ça pour 1 jour de neige tous les 5 ans? pic.twitter.com/nyw47afSWA
— Cédric Faiche (@cedricfaiche) February 7, 2018
“In the USA the snow didn’t block anything because:
Americans were equipped with salt, shovels, motorized snow removal machines for sidewalks, the city has snowplow trucks…
Who’s willing to pay for 1 snow day every 5 years?”
6. French children think you need ice cream scoops to make snowballs
7. French snowmen don’t get fat